This is a fusion of two different songs:
I was trying to UNION two SELECT queries but for some reason it seemed to be omitting duplicate results (the primary key wasn’t included in the SELECTed columns so some had everything but that in common) as if they were SELECT DISTINCT queries. To work around that I added rand() as the last SELECTed item and it worked. This is probably an ugly hack, but it did what it was supposed to do. One could probably just as easily include the primary key. I still don’t know why it was omitting duplicates and now that it works I probably won’t look into it for a while.
Mel Gibson is silently thanking Michael Richards 
Here’s a funny satire dealing with both of them…
Whoever invented the public water fountain was a genuinely thoughtful person.
If you can’t handle being wrong, you shouldn’t work in IT. We get used to it.
Jimmie Carraway
Professor of Systems Analysis; College of Business and Public Administration
“12 o’clock in the afternoon” would technically not be in the afternoon, right? It is noon! Hah, makes sense to me!
…act under the guise of innocence. Relieving themselves of any accountability, they will flaunt their synthetic hardships to anyone who will lap it up.
Louis’ bodybuilding competition is coming up soon. The contestants are supposed to have a music clip to play while they do their poses, and he asked me to help him make an original recording for this year. He has choreographed a tribal routine, so I used the djembe and mixed in some lion roars using Audacity. Here is the story that he will be telling through his poses and the music: The spear bearer walks in. He hears a lion. He motions for the lion to come and fight! He wrestles the lion, and wins. He celebrates! He puts the lion on his back, but drops it. He picks it back up, and walks off stage.
I went to the pharmacy today to refill a prescription. There is no place to lock my bike out there, so I felt uneasy about leaving my bike outside the door. Since I knew I shouldn’t be more than a few minutes, I decided to leave it and go inside. When I got inside I still didn’t like the thought of leaving it, so I hung around up front and looked at some items I didn’t need, all the while keeping my eye on the bike. A few people walked by outside, and I was starting to feel more comfortable.
Four kids rode by on two bikes (two of the kids were sitting on handlebars). They rode by quite slowly, and their eyes were fixed on the bike the entire time. I thought to myself “Oh, I wish they would come back for that bike.” Once they passed my view I could hear muffled voices as they talked amongst themselves. Sure enough, less than a minute later one of the kids made his way back into view. This kid couldn’t have been older than fourteen. He was walking steadily with his hands in his pockets and got halfway to my bike when he turned his head and saw me standing inside. He quickly turned and ran. At that point I decided to go ahead and lock the bike on the next block so I could get this refill in peace. When I walked outside I saw the kids rushing away and heard one nervously say “see, I told you it was his bike!”
Becki taught me a neat trick. If you mix Diet Coke with Sprite, it looks and tastes just like ginger ale! Now, every time I go to the dining hall, I can’t seem to stop myself from doing it. I guess it gives me some sense of accomplishment or something :-). Apparently, if someone asks you for some ginger ale and you give them this, they won’t know the difference!
My estimation is one part Diet Coke to six or seven parts Sprite. Here is my crude ASCII rendition:
|~~~~~~~~~~|
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Sprite ----> | |
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|----------|
Diet Coke -> \\________/